Friday, January 30, 2009

Self-Induced Isolation




Another night without a voice. I have strained my voice and have not had it back in roughly a month. Teaching without a voice is like being a cop without a gun. Like a firefighter without a hose. You get the point. Anyway, I put myself into solitude in my small but luxurious shoebox. No talking is the only rule. Save the voice for next week's work. I saw an Ear Nose and Throat specialist yesterday. The good news. 15 minute wait. Gave me proper meds, and the visit and meds cost me 15 bucks. The lady at the counter apoligised because they charge a 2 dollar extra fee if you go there after 5 o'clock. I asked her "have you gone to a Specialist in America." Holy shit, they really got their Health Insurance down here. One of the best in the world. The down side? I had to get a straw-sized camera jammed up my nose and down my throat. Literally. Not fun, but I need to get my voice back. It has been a serious frustration for a while.

Self-induced solitude can be summed up in a great song called, "I am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel. Seriously, they nailed it on the head. Now, I am not depressed at all, rather on the opposite side (thank God). But some of these lyrics, especially the setting and backdrop really hit a nerve for me. Here are the lyrics:

"I am A Rock"
A winters day,In a deep and dark december;
I am alone, Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.I am a rock,I am an island.
Ive built walls,A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.I am a rock,I am an island.
Dont talk of love,But Ive heard the words before;Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.I am a rock,I am an island.
I have my books, And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.I am a rock,I am an island.

Like I said, this song to me is about Isolation, and not depression; As I used to teach this song to my high school students who were reading The Catcher in the Rye. After all, look at those awesome pictures of my Korean middle school students who I teach every morning. They make my day everyday.
And a rock feels no pain;And an island never cries.
P.S. And no, the sun is not shining really brightly inside my school, they're just Asian. God bless them. I love them.












2 comments:

DAD said...

CHRIS THAT WAS THE BEST " HEART MESSAGE " ABOUT YOUR FELLINGS WITHIN AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS.YOU ARE A ROCK IN THIS JOURNEY OF YOUR LIFE.STAY STRONG AND ENJOY THE ISLAND.....

Chris said...

Dad, I wonder where I get my poetic intuition???LOL Nicely said.